The Judgement Of Banky The Hankie

Few of us like a Monday morning, but Amebo Pulse does for it gives him the chance to scratch the underbelly of Naija’s entertainment industry and laugh at the good, the bad, and the down-right pig-ugly, from a week brimming with potential victims.

Hullo my people, I don come again. Like Fela bin talk, everything na wonder wonder. Yesso, last week, we celebrated the emergence of another celebrity, an unfortunate superstar. It’s been quite a while since someone spectacularly and mumu-ishly just came and cracked us all up, taking the title of bad english from our celebrated Patience Jonathan. Even D’Banj dey jealous the guy. The guy bin sell well well. He even sold more than Tonto Dikeh will ever hope to sell even in her best nightmare. And as I write this, na the guy clothe wey dey my dirty body. Fine Amebo wey sabi fashion. Ladies and Gentlemen, Guyman and Babe, Mama and Papa, Boys and Girls, Agbero and Ashawo, Ajebo and Kpako, join me as I welcome the best of Nigerian Entertainment, the new face of stupidity and the model of brand laughter.  It’s my oga at the TOOOOOOP! That’s all. But wait! I don’t want to celebrate him yet because I might write one thing now and my oga at the top will write another thing. So let’s maintain and hold our peace. I even hear say them don suspend the guy, Why na? Abeg na? ehn? Una be bad-belle o. With all the boko haram business disturbing us every day and making us shed tears like castrated mosquitoes (I”ve seen one cry before in my ear), We Nigerians need a little laughter in our lives. So whether na basketmouth or na Oga at the top provide am, all follow. So in the name of Amebo the magnificient, I order you to reinstate that comedian, and increase his salary. Even add comedy allowance to his pay packet. You hear me? Nonsense. Vex don begin dey catching me, so make we go down to business before I explodutunu. Goodmorning jare.